Teens

The Ladies of Vision Ministry cares about issues that are pertinent to being a teenager. That is why we have created this special section just for you. Highlighted below are issues that may be of interest to you.

Boundaries

A boundary is your personal physical, emotional and sexual comfort zone. We all have a gut feeling that lets us know when our boundaries are being broken.

Below are examples of how boundaries can be broken:

Interrupting a conversation

Taking someone’s possessions without her or his permission

Teasing or making fun of someone

Asking very personal questions

Telling other people stories about someone

Making someone uncomfortable by always being around or invading their private space

Saying or doing things that others find offensive or vulgar

Forcing someone into doing something sexual

Physically assaulting someone

Using inappropriate language or touching

Using violence in any way

Complete this activity to see if your relationship has healthy boundaries.

The following questions may help point out unhealthy qualities in your relationship.

Does this person try to tell you what to do, how to dress, who to hang out with?

Do you spend most of your time worrying about this relationship?

Does it seem that this person purposefully tries to make you feel jealous or insecure?

Does it seem that you do all the giving and your friend does all the taking?

Does your friend put unrealistic demands on you? What demands?

Does your friend ignore you or attempt to control you when others are around?  What usually happens?

Does it seem like this friend is always trying to change you? How?

Does your friend purposely do things to hurt you emotionally or physically? What are those things they do to hurt you?

Do other people tell you that your friend talks about you behind your back?  What does your friend talk about?

Do you get into trouble when you do what your friend says? How?

Do you feel ashamed, guilty or afraid after talking or being with this person?

Have you quit doing things that you used to enjoy since you’ve become involved with this person? What? Why?

Does this person ever threaten or intimidate you?

Has this person ever given you a gift and expected sexual contact in return?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, your relationship is unhealthy or may be heading in an unhealthy direction. You have the right to regain your power by enforcing your boundaries. Here are some things you can do:

End the relationship

Talk to an adult you trust

Develop a safety plan

Dating Violence

When violence occurs between two people that are dating, it is called dating violence. Dating violence may be physical, emotional/verbal or sexual. Highlighted below are some important myths and facts about dating violence:

Myths

Myth: Dating violence happens most often in the lower socioeconomic levels or when drugs and alcohol are involved.
Fact: Dating violence crosses all socioeconomic levels. Alcohol and other drug use are used as excuses for abusive behavior.

Myth: Sometimes females get what they deserve. They provoke violence.
Fact: No one deserves to be beaten or abused.

Myth: If someone is abusive in the dating relationship, they will stop once married.
Fact: Abuse is likely to escalate as the relationship continues.

Startling Statistics about Teen Dating Violence

Young women between the ages of 14 and 17 represent 38 percent of individuals that experience date rape.

The average age for the first occurrence of dating violence is age 15.

More than 95 percent of dating violence is committed by males.

Young women, ages 16 to 24, experience the highest rates of violence by current or former intimate partners.

One out of every 3 teens is in an abusive relationship during their adolescent years.

One third of teens age 13 to 18 have been involved in a physically abusive relationship. Less than 3 percent reported the incident to an authority figure such as a teacher, police officer or counselor. Only 6 percent reported it to a family member. More than 30 percent told no one at all.

More than 50 percent of teens who witness domestic violence between their parents become involved in an abusive relationship.

Approximately 1 in 5 adolescent girls report being physically or sexually hurt by a dating partner.

40 percent of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 reports knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.

26 percent of girls in grades 9 to 12 have experienced physical abuse, sexual abuse or date rape.